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like, woah [24 Oct 2006|03:54am]
i've been feeling really manic lately. like a starving fat kid at a buffet table. alcohol as a social lubricant..uhhh, duuuuh. too much dude. apparently i'm bad at conversation, or i just don't have any. k.i.s.s. let's talk about music? uhhhh, haven't done that in awhile. let's trade stories of our homemade conspiracies. oh baby, you bring out the paranoia in me. "that's not a story, that's just a news flash." its getting cold outside. fair weather/fareweather. i want to go so badly. my aunt gave me a ticket with specific instructions to "look 17" so i can get in free. sneaky. last show tomorrow @ hip hop hell then retirement. heads will nod or go nooooo. i miss sharon and alissa a lot. coolest girls in the world society, belonging to two gangs. gangs of power. i should call nicole or lauren- its like living in the same town as your family and never seeing them...oh, wait. saturday was insane, but i still don't have who what i want.

i'm sitting on the phone listening to my dad talk about jessica simpson's breasts. "you should see them, her bresteses are just sitting there."
10 hoes|all up on my shit

[15 Oct 2006|07:47pm]
i don't even know why i still have this thing, all i do is get on here and type about heavy flow. we had a show last night that was awesome. every band was amazing- animal fight, civilization, black tusk, holy mountain and the yusge- were my favorites. alex and i want to bow at the alter of the yusge. john paul is my new hero and i think i was reborn. people had fun with heavy flow, this old man in a wheel chair rolled right up the middle and yelled with roisin about pop tarts. some of my managers from work came to see my co-worker's band, orphans of the revolution, and this girl julie (one of my supervisors) played them a cd of H.F. songs and they decided to stick around to see us. i was weirded out because they're my managers, but then one of them asked me to come smoke some weed (which i declined) and i felt like i was in the twilight zoooone. tonight is the wolf eyes show at tsi. i think i'm going to go and sit outside of that- hopefully get in free or something, we'll see.

we got a myspace message from this girl asking us to pay in colombia, south america. nevermind that i don't have gas to get to arlington...but south america? wow. we have two shows this week. one is a fundraiser at tsi on tuesday and the other is the 1st annual jack fest/rachel mcclean's birthday part with dang!, leslie and crash the satellites. we're working on more songs, and i have a drum machine covo party coming up with chase. i had forgot how much i love working with and talking about drum machines. yeah, i'm a dork, but they're pretty much amazing devices.
all up on my shit

[27 Sep 2006|10:14pm]
i'm counting the days until sharon is coming to town...and alissa. i think alissa is already here though. we need a sit around and a sing-a-long.

where have all the cowboys gone?
god bless the child whos got his own.
may all your days be circus days.

i've been trying to catch up on my sleep all week. i finally found the combination to that safe...just go to bed- who knew?

we have a show on the 6th (and three after), and 1 song with no beat and two barely written with no beats. making beats is fun, but there are so many things that side track me- like myspace, cleaning my room, taking showers and eating cheese sticks (god i love cheese sticks). plus, there are so many boys i want to marry...SIKE! well, maybe not sike.

i've been eating what basically boils down to bowling alley food for the past week, and i'm still loosing weight. how do all those fatties at the lanes pull it off? maybe i need more beer, fast food, and hard livin'

actually, i think a lot of it has to do with not eating fast food anymore. it just came to me one day that i'm not really that much in a hury to eat what boils down to a cows anus in the shape of a square. i can wait til i get home and...well, eat what boils down to a chicken anus in the form of a hot dog.

oh god, don't mind me!!!

chris and amy
i'm trying to put together a atlanta trip to come and see you guys. i don't know the date, but just thought i should let you know.
6 hoes|all up on my shit

[07 Sep 2006|06:10pm]
heavy flow had another show last night. 3 minutes of pure pleasure, i say. some girl had the gas face during our songs, but i would like to think its because we blew her mind...right? we recorded our songs if anyone wants a cd.
8 hoes|all up on my shit

yeah, uh-huh [31 Aug 2006|06:23pm]
i don't really update this thing much. i mean, once a day to when i think about it. dial up sucks ya know.

thanks to yall who came to see heavy flow the other night.

we have a couple more shows coming up and there might be something in the folio.
this weekend, we're recording in a real, live, studio so the songs we did the other night will more than likely be up next week.

that's exciting right?

new job is cool, everything is cool
all up on my shit

this year [21 Aug 2006|08:45pm]
thing are working out and looking up. when i go through my phases, i just laugh because whoever says things don't always work out hasn't lived long enough. i started my new job today and i get to wear scrubs so i feel like i'm always walking around in my pjs.

heavy flow is on the come up and that makes me smile a lot. our first show is this friday and we've been working really hard and practicing. we've also been making connections (what a funny thing to say) with people in seattle and elsewheres who we don't know, but are waiting to hear something...i guess. things are getting so exciting that roisin went for a crazy run through the house.

patrick puts the MAN in MANager
and alison is our PR person

we got people.

hahahaha!!!!

dream on dreamer, dream on.
2 hoes|all up on my shit

[16 Aug 2006|03:42pm]
i have interviews today and tomorrow. i'm trying to work it out so i atleast have one 40 hour a week job and two 20 or less hours a week job alteast until winter semester rolls around. i have this odd feeling that once i accept the job i'm interviewing for today the president of the united states will call me and offer me a position in his cabinet- that's how it always works right? you don't hear from anyone then all of a sudden everyone has something for you.

i've been having fun in the meantime, meeting new people- couch cudlin' with alison and watching good times. that show is the best and the worse all rolled up into one, its basically a whole family with 0 faith and optimism. the last episode i watched was about florida getting nervous because she had to take a physical and she didn't want to loose her job. no one told her she would get fired if she failed, she just assumed and got really upset. i have worry potential, but watching that show makes me realize how silly and tiring it all is. i want to tell them that their attitude alone is what keeps them in the ghetto and they talk themselves out of success before they even get a chance, but its just a show and it makes me laugh so whatever.


off to the races.
4 hoes|all up on my shit

WE A.R.E. HEAVY FLOW [08 Aug 2006|12:01am]
the color is red...always
roisin and i have a show coming up in a few weeks at moon colony.

the song list goes like this:

- get yr red wings
- a blow job is still a job (and i'm gonna work my ass off)

we need two more songs, but we're more than borderline geniuses so i'm sure it'll work out.

but quick, give me a word or two that rhymes with backdoor boyfriend.


we also play batmitzvahs (sp?) and weddings.

suuuuucccccuuuummmm
6 hoes|all up on my shit

i could always, breathe back in... [03 Aug 2006|01:05pm]
bring em' back up to the guillotine.

when i'm super rich, i want walls and walls covered with Caravaggio paintings. i have always been in love with his work. Artemisia is pretty gangsta' too. i know that will probably never happen, but yeah, dreeeeeaaaammmmmsssss!!!

sitting at my parents house.
spoke to suereka earlier this week. i was looking online for her because she's trying to move back to atlanta as soon as possible.

i miss her.

she needs money to get a plane ticket or a bus ticket and i don't have a job. i wish i did so i could help her out. she was on her way to collect bottles and sell the little bit that she has so she could get money for a plane ticket or a bus ticket.

i hope she gets it because she sounded like she was either in trouble or about to get into some.

while i'm dealing with my issues, she over there dealing with hers.

life. is. hoard.

but what can you do besides work with it, change your brain and find the little things that help you keep on moving.

amen. amen.

i had an interview today. roisin helped me pick out my outfit, kristen tried to help me practice, and alison and patrick told me it was going to work out (and i belive it and receive it). i was nervous about what to say if they asked me why i got fired from convergys. i had to take a bunch of tests, and scored super high (cause that's what i do) and they asked me to stay back and talk to someone else, but the lady was missing so they said they would give me a call. i felt like such a business lady in my sensible pumps surrounded by other ladies in their sensible pumps. i probably should have tried to get a real office job a long time ago cause lawd knows that i have a high tolerance for shittay situations(uhhh huhhh!), and i'm great at waiting around.

been writing gross songs with roisin and mapping out our plans for life and whatnot. we're ladies who lunch, super classy ya' herd?!?
6 hoes|all up on my shit

i'm not dead yet... [27 Jul 2006|01:42pm]
i've been having fun hanging out with my peeps, going out at night, dancing and talking to people i used to just wave at in passing. roisin in the shit, patrick is the shit, alison is the shit and kristen is the shit. i thank my lucky stars that lines of communication and friendship are able to curve, twist and bend and that all of my friends (the new and the old) are wonderful, hilarious, drama-free people that i am more than happy to co-sign on a friendship with. we're all about the uptake, pats on the back, how was your day, and really meaning it. we're all about the future, knowing it could be worse and appreciating the best- cause it's all good you know.
3 hoes|all up on my shit

[25 Jul 2006|06:56pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

<~~aLL aBOUT mE sURVEY~~~>
aLL aBOUT yOU...
Full name:Cheyla S.
Nickname:Chey
Place of Birth:the dirty du
Birthday:July 14th and December 26th....wha!?!?
Hair Color:dark brown
Eye Color:dark brown
Screen Name:immorerealler...cause i am
If you could change your name what would it be:its fine how it is
fAVORITES...
Color:today it is yellow
Movie:the wizard of oz
Song:this week it is Jason Mraz - Plane
Band:Team Dresch
Day of the year:first day of summer
Food:squash and onions
Feature on yourself:smile
Least favorite feature on yourself:dark eye circles - its so bad, but whatever its hereditary...right?
Sport:wrestling
Store:forever21
Vacation spot:England and Germany
Season:fall
Restaurant:i haven't been to a great resturaunt in years - i guess sushi cafe or india's
dO yOU pREFER...
coke/pepsi:grape drink
chocolate/vanilla:vanilla
dog/cat:hamsters and orangutans
skim/whole/1 percent/2 percent milk:soy
black/white:white
sing/dance:dance til i pass out
rock/rap:the wreck center
top/bottom:both
tv/radio:i pod
doctor/dentist:doctor
deaf/blind:deaf- i prefer subtitles anyway
lOVE sTUFF...
Are you single:yes indeed
If so, do you have somone in mind:kinda, sorta, not really
Who:y?
What personality traits do you look for in a guy/girl:i've been reading the art of war and the prince since middle school. i have visions of linking up with someone awesome and taking over the world- an eye for world domination.
Whats the first thing(physical) you notice about a guy/girl:smile and eyes
Do you prefer the good or bad guy/girl:everyone has their good and bad it depends on how they work it and if they recognize it and want to change it or wallow in it.
Have you ever kissed someone:yeah, once or twice
Have you ever been in love:when i was 19, but the older i get i realize that i was ONLY 19 and that's just dumb
Have you ever had a broken heart:no, because you gotta let someone in there first.
Do you believe in love at first sight:"When I fall in love, I take my time, There's no need to hurry when i'm making up my mind." - jason mraz
Is love important:i believe in the difference between being in love and having love. the love i have for my friends (and boyfriends) is a desire for them to be happy, and recognize their power.
Are love and sex connected:not always.
Has anyone ever loved you:i'm sure.
Does someone love you right now:my family and friends
Who was the last person you said i love you to:my mom.
dATING...
Last date you had good/bad:never been on one.
Did you hook up on it?:see above.
Would you hook up on a first date:apparently so. my last one night stand lasted almost 2 years tho.
Who was your first kiss:danny in kindergarten
Are you gay/straight/bi:skrait
Your ideal date is(what would you do):i just want a reason to wear a dress and laugh a lot- NO PRESSURE!!
Your ideal male/female is(what do you look for):makes me feel safe, doesn't try to hard, but knows how to treat a girl, loves his mom and his friends, wants to be awesome and wants me to be awesome too.
Should a girl ask out a guy:i guess, but i never have
Which flowers should you give/recieve..what type would you like to give/get:i don't like flowers.
What should a person NEVER EVER EVER do on a first date:shit on your lap
oTHER rANDOM sTUFF...
Have you gone skinny dipping:no
Have you ever been out of the country:yes
Do you believe in god:yes
Do you want to get married:one day
Do you play any sports:tonsil hockey
What was the last phone number you dialed:mom
Have you gone swimming in an ocean:yeah
Have you cried in public:in my car
Worst fear:dying alone, going to jail
How long does it take you to get ready/take a shower:20 minutes? i dunno.
Last movie you saw in the theater:dave chappelle block party
Last movie rented:sidney potier movies from the library
Personal Quote:"do you know how great you are? if you don't i'll tell you."
Any regrets:yeah, but you gotta get over it
Whats your career of choice(dream job):write screenplays, children books, motivational speaker
Do you know how to play any instruments:kinda bass
Do you like to be naked:sometimes, but clothes are fun too
Do you drink:yeah
If so whats your favorite drink:screwdrivers, rum and cokes
Do you smoke:no
If so what:
Do you do drugs:naw
If so what:
Is crack really wack:oh hells yeah
If you could change your hair color would you:i already did.
What color:dark brown and some blondish color
If you could change your eye color would you:no
What color:
What are you wearing right now:doctors scrubs...cause i'm a doctor
Does anyone tell you that you look like someone:yeah
If so who:my mom. but she was much prettier when she was my age
Do you think you look like them:yeah
yOUR fRIENDS aND sTUFF...:
The friend you know will be passed out in a gutter in a week:that's gross, i don't think anyone will
The most confused friend:me
Prettiest friend(female):all of my friends are pretty, even patrick
Hottest friend(male):i don't really have any guy friends
Last friend you talked to:roisin
Last "friend" you wish you hadn't talked to:wow, these are some two-faced friend questions
The "friend" you wish would fall off a cliff:i actually like all of my friends
The "friend" you could imagine becoming more than a "friend":i'm friends with a bunch of girls...and patrick for gods sakes
Friend you miss the most when they're gone:sharon and alissa
Last time you kissed a friend:last night
How many friends roughly do you think you have:10
How many "enemies" do you have:0- if i have an enemy, i don't know about it and they're waisting their energy hating on me because i don't know or care about it.
Which one of your friends pisses you off the most:ian, but its cool and really not that serious
Who are your best friends:sharon and alissa
mUSIC...
Greatest song you've ever heard:marvin gaye's whats going on album which is essentially one long song
Last song you listened to:jason mraz - the remedy
Greatest band ever:Team Dresch
Worst song/band ever:the pink spiders
Song that makes you dance no matter what:liza minelli - cabaret
Song you hope no one finds out you like:i don't care- that rhianna song about her being a murder
Song that brings bad memories:lily allen - little things
Sond that brings good memories:sleater-kinney - get up
sEX...
Are you a virgin:no
How do you define virgin:you've never stuck your penis in or had a penis in you
Last person you thought about having sex with:i'm not sayin!!
Person you will NEVER EVER EVER have sex with:any of my friends
What will you never do in bed:eat shit and drink pee
Which erm do you prefer love making, poking, fucking, boning, sex, doing it:why talk about it, just do it
Who's the last person you slept with but didnt have sex with:i haven't slep with anyone
How Far have you gone:all the way to the moon alice!
When was the last time you have sex(even if it was with yourself):can't remember...seriously.
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d
4 hoes|all up on my shit

[24 Jul 2006|12:48pm]
i'm at the library, trying to type up whatever. bought a newspaper which was pretty exciting. so can i just assume that there are no newspaper stands (the metal put your .50 in kind) in riverside? i was looking and looking then drove across broad street and saw a million of them.

i got all the way here, paid for 2hrs of parking and remembered that i didn't have a disk to save my things to.

also read kristen's post about becoming straight edge- sounds like serious business.




i'm ready to move outta this town!!!!

when i get another job i'm going to philly to visit mandolin.

wouldn't that be nice?
2 hoes|all up on my shit

[21 Jul 2006|04:05pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

i just read the move spoiler to "the lady in the water." although i loooove getting endings before i see things, i recognize that everyone else does not so i wont say what's going to happen.

but seriously, save yr monies.

i've been spending my morning taking off finger nail polish and eating beef jerky- which by the feeling in my stomach right now, was a bad way to start the day.

i want to go on a date with somebody!!!!!
i want to be romanced.

i need some excitement. everything is a little boring.

i want a reason to take a shower!!
(other than health and cleanliness reasons)

i'm waiting for a phone call about a library card that i can use.
after looking over the resume that i typed up, it needs some additional work. Ms. Hattie is supposed to call me about some other job opprotunities and a job fair she wants me to go to.

i've never been to a job fair, but it sounds scary and completely against the shyest parts of my personality, but whatever.

you gotta whore yourself out there if you want to live like a slut.

2 hoes|all up on my shit

[19 Jul 2006|02:43pm]
the lady in charge of HR at my "old job" wants me to call her. there is a possibility that i may get my job back or end up with another job pretty soon.

in the meantime, i'm a resume compiling fool- do any of you have a good computer and printer? the only good computer i know of is at the library, and i can't use it right now (fines and whatnot).
2 hoes|all up on my shit

I NEED A JOB!!!!!!! I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!! [17 Jul 2006|03:31pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

my weekend pitty party is over. i gave myself until sunday night to stop the pessimism and being so damn sad. truthfully, a lot of my re-found happiness had to do with being able to talk to sharon last night and get a lot of my thoughts out and have someone who knows my ability to be ka-razy and overly sensitive help me remember that i'm always going to be okay.

even though i have people around me who i could talk to, its just different when you talk to someone who has known you longer than everyone else, and especially knew you before you got lost in whatever bullshit that's bothering you. that's also why i really appreciated being able to talk to tom and jenny on saturday too. after 26 years of being an only child, and recognizing that i can't talk to my parents about anything, i've made a habit out of trying to council myself, solve my own problems, and being my own filter and band-aid, but that junk is so hard especially when things start to pile up so quickly.

i started to have anxiety attacks because i felt really lonely and lost. as far as my immediate circle of people i see on a regular basis, all i kept focusing on was that the friends who help me when i can't help myself weren't here and i needed them badly. my first instinct was to call ian because yeah, we dated for awhile, but out of who i mostly deal with in jax, he's known me the longest, but that's all retarded and jacked up right now. we gotta tip-toe around old titles and old feelings and play phone tag and be all edgy for 6 cosmo (magazine) months before a real conversation can be had and everyone can be all normal again.

but yeah, everything is gonna be fine. now i'll focus on finding a new job and looking new cute boys. if you have any leads on either, hit me up.

and to Chris and Amy-
thank you both for being really great, creative and inspirational people. i'm gonna miss you both a lot. its really great to see two people who have brains get together and work it out well. i'll eventually travel to atlanta to see you guys (and kari) after you guys get settled. be safe, and if i don't see you guys before you leave, i'll see you soon.

keep in touch.

yesterday i had an epiphany that i really enjoy john mayer's music- you can blame it on whatever you want, but my stupid mouth and why georgia are are good songs.

I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right
Am I living it right
Am I living it right
Why, why georgia, why

So what so Ive got a smile on
Its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head

Dont believe me
Dont believe me
When I say Ive got it down


so what!?!?
4 hoes|all up on my shit

i'm bringing my E game [14 Jul 2006|03:56pm]
i went to the pearl last night. bored as hell, but really wanting to dance my demons off. i had fun- it felt like the olden days when i would go to clubs and dance by myself. everyone there was 18 and i thought that was cute- especially when some of them felt the need to tell me when to dance and how to dance ("turn around and dance with us!!). there were a lot of flat asses there and one guy who was trying really hard to look like pharrell. i felt like a secret spy scoping out the changes. it confuses the crap out of people when you tell them you're not dancing because the song is bad and you try really hard not to dance to bad songs.

i got there before 12 and left at almost 3. i would look at my watch and think that i should be leaving because i had something to do, somewhere to go, or that someone was expecting me, the i would realize that it was just me.

hahahaha!!!

what more can i say?

i had to wash my sheets because the cat peed on my bed and there were bugs. i don't know if the bugs are from the cat, or the bed or what, but that's all i needed to start the water works.

at 3 i'm supposed to go to this thing at church for single people aged 26-49. i'm convinced that it will be a bunch of old ladies winning about not being able to find a man and wanting children. when i was 18 i was supposed to join the singles group and back then it was 18-49. now theres a college group for 18-25, but i still don't see what i would have in common with a 40 year old- i guess i'll see. maybe its to prepare me for when i'm 49, unmarried with no kids.

SUNSHINE!!!!!!

one good thing about today is that BET is showing Beyonce's new video every hour. It's the little things that make me smile.
1 hoe|all up on my shit

I NEED A NEW JOB!!!! [13 Jul 2006|05:31pm]
i need a new job. seriously- asap.

if your place is hiring, or if you know of a place that is hiring, please let me know.

i would like to make $10 or more an hour and work in the daytime.
6 hoes|all up on my shit

oh, poo!!! [12 Jul 2006|10:45pm]
hmmmm, so what would make the month better?

maybe if i found out i was pregnant, had aids and ebola?

yeah, that would be the cherry on my shitty month sundae.



things that are great:
-i'm not dead (yet)
-i have a car
-i'm not retarded (entirely)
-i live with nice people
-my grandma is out of the hospital
10 hoes|all up on my shit

[11 Jul 2006|02:34pm]
i stated reading the culture of narcissism by christopher lasch today. i can't imagine what kind of united states made this book a bestseller. it couldn't possibly be the same U.S. that makes bestsellers out of books written by dogs and vapid sluts. whaaaa happened!?!
all up on my shit

this SAT July 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [26 Jun 2006|11:02pm]


patrick made this flier...isn't it lovely? made especially for 4 lovely, lady-like ladies.
2 hoes|all up on my shit

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